It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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