Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
