My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize