she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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