when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
