how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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