Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
