The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
