I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
