dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
