We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
