Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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