dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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