Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We left the knife in your bed.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
