i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
