That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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