bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize