It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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