Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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