Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize