Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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