Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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