I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
