I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
