lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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