guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
