Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
