I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
