I don't think brook has ever known best
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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