Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
