I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
