I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize