I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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