Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
