its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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