Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
