I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
