I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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