the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
