She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize