and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
