p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize