Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize