Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
