As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
