one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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