i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When are your genitals available?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
