Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
