i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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