im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
