he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
