He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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