they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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