It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
be right there i have to get my cape
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
