im drinking this country out of the recession.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
