everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize