Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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