i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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