Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
