Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
