i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
