is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize