either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
